third eye-29.07.10

*artwork-“blurry cityscape” by ashly barid via .wallartys.com

no guarantees. no eternal promises. a stable place, is what i crave. (mirage of) safety obscures my sight. right eye is open left eye is closed the third one is indigo not yet. i am sad.

jerusalem for fool-25.06.10

*artwork-by gary kaleda

pure fantasy. sunny winter days. my favorite. ha! the door opens and he brings the air in for me to breath. every time, virgin-like thrill lusty love, lovely lust. senses wide shut, carefully covered with precise amount of artificial sweetener. yeah.. well, the real is here ( or is he?) morning coffee with silence OST families, groceries. sink full of junk. pretenders? or is it all that it takes? i am unjust. the goodness is all over. it’s only that… so difficult to let go of imaginary passion, for cosy warmth and promise(?) of obscure togetherness.

hedgehogs in the fog-19.05.10

*artwork-  from “hedgehog in the fog” masterpiece animation by yuri norshteyn, 1975

 

 

he says “i love you so much”… does he acknowledge the burden? the rules are unclear. thus, my love is entwined with your guilt. i make you sip it, in swallows you are able to take. i thought. and i missed. you ask for mercy and i am letting go. hedgehogs in the fog we are so curious, but then disturbed, choking on ambiguous fears, shadow-like thoughts, made up tornadoes and delirious tremors. we watch scary movies, you laugh as i cover my eyes, yet you hold me closer. it’s all about tea, raspberry jam, and stars.

13th of march-13.03.10

*artwork-“The Delusional Confusion” by Darwin Leon

redhearted statements of love and trust and vice versa. and mere vice my mind is a mess and i keep messing with it it feels like rubbing one palm against another so familiar, but can you describe it? my thoughts…those ones covered with spiderwebs an old attic stuffed with redundant words and gestures and i stand among them like in someone else’s dream where gravity rules work no more and rhymes have no meaning. i know that i have to hand him the tickets because i invited him for this ride. he says the transportation was all legal and this place was never visited before. an attic or a cellar whatever is this place i am scared and i eager to be held and i need eternal promises.

simple things used to be so complicated-20.02.10

*artwork-“intimacy” by svetlana ziuzina via artmajeur.com

 

maybe because he does not speak i am mute again. comfortably embraced by silence. listening to the music of heartbeats instead of uneven rumble of words. we hold hands in our sleep and i let him kiss my face in the morning and make a dinner. for me. simple things used to be so complicated. but now i rest. and i let him touch, where no one did before.