in total-29.08.10

*artwork- “determination” by mark fuller via fineartamerica.com

determination-mark-fuller

in total
two more months to go
spinning, on and off
and fourth decade of childlike woman is on.
yes.
in total
inventory is set.
my vintage tools
worn out furniture
and washed off clothes.
a doll house.
i will count every piece of everything.
all of my possessions.
white hairs and tiny wrinkles around the eyes, too.
i am rich.

and i will wear my smile
as a pretty one wore perfume.
for this is all i really have.
i will smile.
and won’t hide in another dusty room
with empty ceiling. and emptied man.

i will smile.
victims all over will take cover. and there will be
no more dreadful stories around me.
no more shadows that were raped at age of three.
and no more home seeking
and being homesick
and missing marinushka
and missing.

in total.

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the vow-23.07.10

*artwork-“growth”, digital art by anastasiya malakhova

growth-anastasiya-malakhova

the moment you were gone
the voice of my mind was heard again.
so tiny and so weak, yet, it is here.
i’m thrilled to have it back,
to execute my grief
and comprehend its startling solace.

so many tears, i never knew i could,
but i do feel so much
i’m happy
to grow
and come across my brand new greenest leaves.
_____
the agent of a change,
no other choice for me.
i’ll hold that mirror, forever, if it takes
and when they’re ready-
i set them free to search.

_____
and you became so ripe, so willing to explore and face
your own incubus.
my VIP, now you begin your journey.
i will be out there.
just as you asked.
i’ll keep an eye on you,
won’t let you fade away.