*artwork-“smoke” by brigitte werner via pixabay.com
|for more than two hundred and seventy days
i pushed away, it was not easy.
funny it feels, the tips of stiff fingers tremble
and heart pounds so fast.
this face in front of me. still precious? or is it?
covered with thin layer of curiosity
covered with thick layer of urge to destroy.
everything’s so familiar
these feminine hands,
hiding behind ever present cigarette
and convenient smoke.
i just wanted to say good-bye.
*artwork- “red couple dance” by naxart studio via fineartamerica.com
walled in comforting fears
my fruitful quest for rejection
won’t stop. i’d not give up
so sweet, slap after slap
every word tastes like leather belt on my skin
leaving red marks that i collect and keep
carefully cataloged and maintain them thoroughly.
we move, altering egos of cowardice.
my faceless men
your nameless women,
an endless fuel for
our dance of hurt and solace.
*artwork- painting by andrew salgado via justimagine-ddoc.com/art
|i was having pulsing you, in me,
for long minutes, i believed
your phone rang and rang and rang
i asked to pick it up
and right away
i felt your flesh and your mind sliding out
she was bleeding,
maybe loosing her baby.
i heard you say
” i am sorry, i can’t”
and the thought
“i could easily be in her shoes”
blew my mind
you were out,
out of me,
out of my bed, my room
yet not with her.never taking sides.
always in the middle.
i was silent.
you- eaten by guilt, every touch is an apology- asked
“what’s on your mind?”
“i am sad, for
you’re so eager to be the savior.
yet you are never truly there ”