layered-4.10.10

*artwork-“smoke” by brigitte werner via pixabay.com

smoke-69124_960_720

for more than two hundred and seventy days
i pushed away, it was not easy.
funny it feels, the tips of stiff fingers tremble
and heart pounds so fast.
this face in front of me. still precious? or is it?
just impatience,
covered with thin layer of curiosity
covered with thick layer of urge to destroy.
everything’s so familiar
these feminine hands,
hiding behind ever present cigarette
and convenient smoke.
hello, roman.
i just wanted to say good-bye.
 
Advertisements

happy new year-31.12.09

*artwork- “red couple dance” by naxart studio via fineartamerica.com

red-couple-dance-irina-march

still.
walled in comforting fears
my fruitful quest for rejection
won’t stop. i’d not give up
on you
so sweet, slap after slap
every word tastes like leather belt on my skin
leaving red marks that i collect and keep
carefully cataloged
and maintain them thoroughly.

we move, altering egos of cowardice.
my faceless men
your nameless women,
an endless fuel for
our dance of hurt and solace.

in the middle-28.12.09

*artwork- painting by andrew salgado via justimagine-ddoc.com/art

cbd9684390f14e8fa2db65f4192c5d62

i was having pulsing you, in me,
for long minutes, i believed
until
your phone rang and rang and rang
i asked to pick it up
and right away
i felt your flesh and your mind sliding out
from me
to her.

she was bleeding,
maybe loosing her baby.
i heard you say
” i am sorry, i can’t”
and the thought
“i could easily be in her shoes”

blew my mind

you were out,
out of me,
out of my bed, my room
my life.

yet not with her.
never taking sides.
always in the middle. 

i was silent.
you- eaten by guilt, every touch is an apology- asked
“what’s on your mind?”
“i am sad, for
you’re so eager to be the savior.
yet you are never truly there ”