*artwork- via miscellaneoushi.com
Tiny seed of longing
Was planted in me when I was two.
I’ve never been asked for a permission
I’ve taken care of it relentlessly
Fostering it into monstrosity
Weave its branches into every supple cell of mine
To keep me buried under
An unrestrainable jungle of thoughts
To sentence me to an infinite
*artwork- by jiwoon pak via artparasites.com
my being is ridiculous country.
it’s easy: i merely want to be needed, important and
so that they won’t have a new girl, again.but, in the meantime, i am bored.
and everything around me seems
people used to be.
and i once was
someone that i am not, anymore.
yet, i hold on to. clinging to something
that is not even memory.
ever present anxiety.
so, i wait. i’m alert.
always ready for being turned away.
returned to the manufacturer.
in a common cardboard box,
straight to unlovingness.
*artwork-“waiting for the sun” by cameron gray via fineartamerica.com
|“pattern”, it is called.
her little personal drama.
all of a sudden – a whirlpool,
echoing voice of sticky old trauma.”don’t wait for me yet”
well, it’s too late,
the mechanism’s on
her heart sings that
*artwork- frustration by mehran roozbahni
|she says i’ve got to try to like this little girl
and i wonder, what is the way?
i wish i could friend her on facebook
she says i’ve got to stop pushing her away,
stop erasing her from this hard disk
on the back of my mind,
mossy used to say
she says i should be empathetic…
for something that i can not really grasp?
i hide among all these names that barely have faces
just so i won’t have to see my own
and there they go
so precious so unimportant
i keep this puzzle of pieces with no unique form
i choose where to place them
while i lay in my bed and do not remember
whose stomach is pressed against my back.
*artwork- view of the exhibition “Powerless Structures” at Tel Aviv Museum of Art
|what was i
when was i
one of these …imprisoned on
white islands of metal solitude
on each – imperfect youth
so early broken, nearly left
in it together
so painfully alone.
“it’s for your own good”,
and others – silent,
tied and shaved,
*artwork- “anguish” by darren johnson via saatchiart.com
|between third cup of coffee and unimaginary anguish
i try to escape from my own prison
words echoing in my room
said and unsaid
as i walk around, lost in my own fortress
not recognizing this space,
i am a stranger
to my own thoughts, so familiar, so
i pushed out and away,
and now, left in my beloved solitude
i am full of hatred
that can not find its way to
me or you,
i wish to scratch you out
to leave this incapable pale skin
and find a new place
to contain my rusty world of
scared baby with a head shaved
and legs tied to a bed that is everything
scared baby, that waits for a savior to come
in sterile room, with windows ever closed
and smell of lost hope
where every minute is an eternity
and every touch is love deprived