*artwork- via wallpapermaiden.com
biodanza melted everything
into my inability to be while with others
there, (un)disturbed and loud, it exploded
grenade of piercing realizing:
i am so scared to not be able to love
to ever be able to care for someone
more than i care for myself
i’m terrified, that i’ll have to give up so much
for an uncertain promise to obtain.
*artwork- “sun dance” via artfinder.com/paigecastile
when i step into my room,
after a long day of waiting for things
i am about to have two hours of
witnessing the sun hitting my space lovingly
caressing my face like my grandma never would.
right there and then my day starts to unfold
and right there and then my heart is full with
for all the little and great things that i can feel
and touch and see and experience
nothing is taken for granted
for every slippery moment is precious.
so this light that consumes the rooms
for about two hours, daily
is a tenacious reminder of appreciation
for whatever virtues i was granted.
*artwork- via mulfingered.tumblr.com
does my silence hints i am serene at last?
knowing that i use words only to describe the absent.
reality check time has come
what an eye opening,
i laugh and tear
such a cute couple we are
we manage to fool them all
so eager this time it works
we are using blindfolds day and night
to keep the doubts of despair out
and in – these shallow lights
of hope and trust and warmth.
*artwork-“dark matter” by luca l. via studentartguide.com
|all the colors of mine
are not enough
to block the blackness
all the words i used to know
are wiped clean
by the persistence of your silence
so i get pulled, again
into turbulence of my dreads
fueled by vigor of your own
the story repeats itself
again and again
we are so powerless
in this love
you can not bear the most of me
and i want out so bad
but then you drop
the magic words
they work unfailingly
and i give in
charmed, blinded by the sweetness of promise
and mute for some more
because there’s touch
it feels so god damn right
to get lost in our dizzy childish truths
and lies, so white, transparent almost
they help us through another day
*artwork-“unlocking nine locks” by laura simms via touchdrawing.com
|frozen hand of mercy
squeezes my throat mercilessly
every time he is near.
he is down
so i am screaming soundlessly
so he won’t hear
so he falls
so he falls
on the soft ground
on the green grass
on someone else’s hands
35 years old child
he did cry twice
when i hugged him close
and he let me touch,
then for the briefest moment,
and i’ve panicked
and now he is
a tiny shadow of the man he used to be
when he was 20.
i pray for ariel to be back
*artwork- from “hedgehog in the fog” masterpiece animation by yuri norshteyn, 1975
|he says “i love you so much”…
does he acknowledge the burden?
the rules are unclear.
thus, my love is entwined with your guilt.
i make you sip it, in swallows you are able
i thought. and i missed.
you ask for mercy and i am letting go.
hedgehogs in the fog
so curious, but then
disturbed, choking on ambiguous fears,
made up tornadoes and delirious tremors.
we watch scary movies,
you laugh as i cover my eyes,
yet you hold me closer.
it’s all about tea, raspberry jam, and stars.