the trial-19.06.17

*artwork- via miscellaneoushi.com

יער מפחיד

 

Tiny seed of longing

Was planted in me when I was two.

I’ve never been asked for a permission

But nevertheless

I’ve taken care of it relentlessly

Fostering it into monstrosity

Letting it

Weave its branches into every supple cell of mine

To keep me buried under

An unrestrainable jungle of thoughts

To sentence me to an infinite

Trial

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foreigner -30.06.15

7._reflection

*artwork- “reflection” by belle yang via themuseum.org

 

Every time I open my mouth

To let my words out

I witness the strangeness

Staring at me in the eyes of the beholder.

 

Will I ever be a foreigner to all the languages I’ve learnt to love?

 

My elusive place in this universe

Is concealed, hiding behind

The (un)dyeing hope to belong.

 

The walls that I’ve never built,

Neither real nor ones inside

Built themselves anyway and

Even translucent

They separate me from myself

And I can’t reach

The threshold of where I begin

And where the world ends.

 

The lines I’ve written upon the bitterness of my sixteen years

On the blue wall of my youth

Have they come true?

 

Two decades after, now

Am I able to distinguish

Between the secondary and the essence?

 

Am I able?

To take care?

To caress?

To enclose?

To embrace?

To accept

As a fact, as an undisputed given,

Every written mistake

Every word that will ever be left mispronounced?

Everything that I’ve had to forget

And suppress into the deepest

Every hazy image

Nostalgic

Refined

And loathed?

 

I will throw it all up onto the surface

And will investigate, thoroughly

Under magnifying glass

That is molten from chunks of my life

Scattered between here and there.

 

even in best families-20.09.10

*artwork-“acceptance” by ella prakash via mojarto.com

duality?
ambiguity?
multiple personality?
nah, just all in one.
disordered.
i am as complicated as a shampoo.

beloved and be-hated villains,
sour and sweet voices
they build and then destroy,
occasionally sharing the same sentence.
boy, do i love it!

major fuck up.
production flaw at mama’s factory.
but!
another wise man said, that
in best families (sh)it happens, too.

i am sorry II-23.12.09

*artwork-“the art of rejection and acceptance” by jack wallen via monkeypantz.net

images

Mozzy  S. says:
i came here with my heart in my my hands
i came here with my mind in my mouth
but i’d leave here with my heart in my chest
and i’d leave here with my mind in my head
my tongue has so much to say
but in this land of rule it cannot find its way
my heart was pure all along
my mind was pure all along
they would stay purified
and me………….i’ll do just fine.