who are you?-5.12.10

*artwork-“empathy”  by John Edward Marin via fineartamerica.com

empathy-john-edward-marin

 

who are you people?
countless names on countless pages.
is it all about comfort?
and why destroy freshly built basics?

he who likes Kurt Vonnegut and Milorad Pavic,
damn geniuses, i adorebeing adored
being the smart one
playing with
enchanting music attached to words that have no meaning
to me
and books
little book worm, devouring pages
under the blanket
that’s what i was
and now words are pale.

i want to be understood,
and, maybe, forgiven.

in total-29.08.10

*artwork- “determination” by mark fuller via fineartamerica.com

determination-mark-fuller

in total
two more months to go
spinning, on and off
and fourth decade of childlike woman is on.
yes.
in total
inventory is set.
my vintage tools
worn out furniture
and washed off clothes.
a doll house.
i will count every piece of everything.
all of my possessions.
white hairs and tiny wrinkles around the eyes, too.
i am rich.

and i will wear my smile
as a pretty one wore perfume.
for this is all i really have.
i will smile.
and won’t hide in another dusty room
with empty ceiling. and emptied man.

i will smile.
victims all over will take cover. and there will be
no more dreadful stories around me.
no more shadows that were raped at age of three.
and no more home seeking
and being homesick
and missing marinushka
and missing.

in total.