the pattern-02.12.11

*artwork-“dark matter” by luca l. via studentartguide.com

dark-matter-charcoal

all the colors of mine
are not enough
to block the blackness
all the words i used to know
are wiped clean
by the persistence of your silence

so i get pulled, again
into turbulence of my dreads
fueled by vigor of your own

the story repeats itself
again and again
and again
vicious
cruel void
we are so powerless
in this love
love

you can not bear the most of me
and i want out so bad
but then you drop
the magic words
they work unfailingly
and i give in
give up
smiling
charmed, blinded by the sweetness of promise
and mute for some more
because there’s touch
it feels so god damn right
to get lost in our dizzy childish truths
and lies, so white, transparent almost
they help us through another day
of pretending

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cold home-13.01.11

*artwork-“embrace” by egon schiele

embrace

will i ever conquer the vibrant?

Caledonian sky was beautiful
sometimes i could feel free
and scared no more
but here i go, cold home
that feels alien
i’ve lost track of time
in my own 2.5 rooms
where i walk with my eyes closed at nights,
touching guidelines of walls.
my hands are different.
every piece of my body is unpleasantly new
though i am not renewed, tired.
may be this is the sense of freedom
freedom-like dungeon
underneath changing skies,
the city was vicious and i needed (to)
revenge.

i wonder what was it?
how lonely i felt embraced by the loved one.
how lonely my loved one has probably felt.