הילדה והעץ

*artwork- “a girl and a tree” by petra kaindel via


my scrawny birch has had to shed her roots

in the unlit marshes of the blue-eyed country

she’s been re-purposed and now ages

on the bed rock

under oriental sun

disoriented and dazed

knowing no direction

(traditions, heirlooms, family tales)

de-forestation of my mental grove

is inescapably on

still, i don’t know

how to create future




such a cute couple-20.07.12

*artwork- via


does my silence hints i am serene at last?
knowing that i use words only to describe the absent.
reality check time has come
what an eye opening,
i laugh and tear
all together.

such a cute couple we are
we manage to fool them all
so eager this time it works
we are using blindfolds day and night
to keep the doubts of despair out
and in – these shallow lights
of hope and trust and warmth.

till he wants to tell me his story-13.11.10

*artwork-“angels in waiting” by libby mills via



together-less togetherness
it’s me, waiting on him
till he wants to tell me his story

this building is shivering
and can be broken down
with one simple word
whispered inside out
whispered because it needs to be shouted
and blind eyes will become green
and deaf ears will heed
and mute mouth will break silence




*artwork- by jiwoon pak via



my being is ridiculous country.
it’s easy: i merely want to be needed, important and
so that they won’t have a new girl, again.but, in the meantime, i am bored.
and everything around me seems
and pointless.
people used to be.
and i once was
someone that i am not, anymore.
yet, i hold on to. clinging to something
that is not even memory.
primeval fright.
ever present anxiety.
so, i wait. i’m alert.
always ready for being turned away.
returned to
the manufacturer.

in a
 common cardboard box,
straight to unlovingness.


in total-29.08.10

*artwork- “determination” by mark fuller via


in total
two more months to go
spinning, on and off
and fourth decade of childlike woman is on.
in total
inventory is set.
my vintage tools
worn out furniture
and washed off clothes.
a doll house.
i will count every piece of everything.
all of my possessions.
white hairs and tiny wrinkles around the eyes, too.
i am rich.

and i will wear my smile
as a pretty one wore perfume.
for this is all i really have.
i will smile.
and won’t hide in another dusty room
with empty ceiling. and emptied man.

i will smile.
victims all over will take cover. and there will be
no more dreadful stories around me.
no more shadows that were raped at age of three.
and no more home seeking
and being homesick
and missing marinushka
and missing.

in total.


third eye-29.07.10

*artwork-“blurry cityscape” by ashly barid via


no guarantees. no eternal promises.
a stable place, is what i crave.

(mirage of) safety
obscures my sight.

right eye is open
left eye is closed
the third one is indigo not yet.
i am sad.